Ever felt stuck, frustrated, powerless, but don’t know what you can do about it.
I have spent years with my head absolutely done in with frustration. The horrible tight feeling in my chest saying, I want to do something but I can’t. All the, I shoulds and I cant’s rattling around in my head. I should be making more money, I should be doing better in college, I should have a job, I should be happy, but I can’t, but I’m no good at that. Relentless thinking that leads to nowhere but more frustration. Then because you’re so frustrated every day, you can’t actually do anything properly and that builds on its self, to where you start to believe you’re no good at, or can’t stick at anything long enough to make it happen. Your self esteem / belief start to diminish.
I’ve spent the past 4 years full on dedicated to getting rid of these feelings. Initially I was so frustrated and my brain was churning so much, that I was waking up already burnt out for the day ahead. I would wake up and barely be able to think my brain was already so exhausted. I would only be alive for a really short while before I had to go back to bed. This went on for nearly two years where I could barely live.
I was so lucky to be living at home with my parents at the time, because I literally couldn’t take care of myself. I went to the doctors (I can honestly say they haven’t a clue) I went to nutritionists and dieticians, hypnotherapists and spent thousands on books, courses and anything I could get my hands on to get out of this rut.
Eventually I took the reins and decided to figure it out myself because none of the people I went to see had any idea what was wrong or how to help me.
I had read up on NLP and Life Coaching and through a recommendation by a very good friend I did a course in Life Coaching. This was the tipping point; this is where I started to take charge of my life again.
I have often heard about people hitting rock bottom and their life changing for the better. I feel that I have been dragged along the bottom, but at some point I decided to turn over and stop dragging my face along the ground. As soon as I turned over I could see a whole new world. I could see there was more to life than what I could see.
As I dug deeper into Life Coaching and personal development, I realised that what I believed isn’t fact and that what I believed was often wrong, actually it is always wrong.
What we believe is just what we believe, it is not fact, it is just a belief. Like when we are children and believe in the tooth fairy. The fairy definitely exists until we have proof it doesn’t.
These beliefs go further they are not just psychological they manifest physically too. Is eating meat good or tasty, millions of people believe it is. Whereas millions vegans believe it isn’t, so much so if they were forced to eat meat they would vomit it up because they believe that it is disgusting. The reality is, its just meat, it is not good or bad, it just what it is, but our beliefs say we can or cannot eat it, that it is disgusting or beautiful.
What all this meant for me was that maybe I just believed I was no good at working, or college, or whatever other rubbish I believed about myself. This enabled me to challenge everything I believed in. Maybe I could actually get good at something. So I started to stop myself and ask is that true? Often it wasn’t.
I then started to stop looking at what I was doing wrong and badly, to what I was doing right and well. I realised that I was doing a lot of things right on a day to day basis. This was amazing to me as I had never looked or paid attention to what I was doing well before all I ever did was beat myself up for any tiny little mistake I made.
Once I started to realise that I did some stuff well I wanted to do more and see what happened. So I started reading more and more personal development books listening to audio books I have probably read one particular book at least 50 times. My targets where set, what else do I not know that will make me feel better. The pain of being frustrated was driving me on, I did not want to feel that way and these books and all the stuff I was learning was helping me feel better and better. For the first time in my life I had a goal and that goal was not to feel shitty anymore.
Bit by bit day by day I gradually changed my focus from looking at all the bad things in my life to all the good things. My attitude went from I can’t, to maybe I can, to I can.
As my attitude changed so did my energy and levels of frustration. As is started being nice to myself and building my self confidence, my energy levels went up and up and up, to where I am enthusiastic every day and have the energy and belief to do what I want to do.
The world around us and the people in it are all geared up to make us feel bad, school and good intentioned friends often tell us we are doing this or that wrong, or that we cannot do a particular thing.
What I want to impress in you with this post is that we can choose what we listen to. We can choose to listen to our teachers, parents, friends and even our own internal dialogue. But what I have found to be far better better is making up our own mind and ignoring all the negative stuff and just focus on what you are doing right, because that will fill you full of energy, enthusiasm and that will grow you and your abilities. You (with practice) will live with relentless enthusiasm.