I want more self belief / self esteem.


On day 1. We said the most important thing in life is going for what you want.

Day 2. What is my purpose?

Day 3. Becoming happy.

Day 4. Money Money Money monaaaay monaaay.

And now day five.

As we discovered in day 4 our self belief governs everything in our lives, our self image, our health, our job, our wealth, our fun, our purpose.This originally started off as a single post

quote-a-strong-positive-self-image-is-the-best-possible-preparation-for-success-in-life

, then 3 and now 5 and has taken me a week to write, an enjoyable week at that.

Here is the biggest most powerful tip in the world ever ever ever, because this is the gateway to everything in your life. YOU CAN CHANGE ANY BELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can change yourself image you can change the belief, I am no good, I’m stupid or I’m not good enough, you can change any belief and view yourself any way you want!

We have all met what we would call ugly or stupid people, who love themselves and are doing great. Maybe it’s a boss or a fat guy with a model girl friend and we say to our selves, what does he have that I don’t? It’s simple they just believe in themselves, they believe they are good enough to be in the position they are in. They probably look at you like you’re a nut for not going for what you can achieve.

The negative self image you may have, in your head, is your choice to hold on to, you can choose to change it and it’s really easy to change.

It has taken me years and years to actually realise this, our self image is just something we believe, like a wrong fact, we believe it until we decide to look for the evidence to then contrary.

How many times have you had debates with friends about a fact and defended it until your blue in the face then went to Google and found out they were right your belief around that fact instantly changed the second you got enough evidence.

How many complements have you gotten where as soon as they say something nice you instantly say they must be exaggerating, they just feel sorry for me because they know I’m not good enough, they must be mad or just basically put yourself down.

Have you seen other people do this to themselves?

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Next time say thank you and actually think about it for a second. They must mean it otherwise why would they waste their energy. Maybe you’re doing a better job than you thought?

Think about it where else should you feel good about yourself?

This action is our self image governing its self, that is governed by our beliefs and a feeling of lack (not good enough)

But we can change all of this negative self talk.

Bit by bit day by day you just start to focus on what you are good at and what you like. Imagine that you have something that partially blinds you a lens over your eyes so that you can only see what it allows you to see. That is how yourself belief works. It works in the background constantly blinding you to how great you can be. But it is only a rusty lens that has, over time, been stuck in the wrong position. So now you have to go and work on it manually (consciously) by writing down a list of at least 20 items, you are good at, so you can oil the lens and get it moving again and see the full picture. (It has to be 20 because it’s hard and gets your brain to strain)

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I was so convinced, I was no good at anything, and I could not come up with any ideas. My belief was, I am no good at ANYTHING, so my brain stopped looking after it hit that belief, it had no reason to it was fact, or so I thought. I believed that so strongly that I was completely blind to anything good about myself. I really had to work on it. Eventually I realised I’m good at lots of stuff but I had to start with really small things like dressing myself. I’ve been doing that OK for years?

Those few questions opened up a completely new world to me. I have a complete 180 degree turn now.

Imagine this: you woke up at your usual time in the morning and decided rather than going through your day moaning about how tired you are and how you want to stay in bed. They may be facts but essentially you can’t do anything about them, you have to go to work. So let’s look at it a different way now. Let’s start to look at all our achievements that we don’t appreciate any more. I’m going to be a bit pedantic, just to show you fully how much we can start to appreciate our selves. When did you learn to dress yourself, when you’re five? You have been doing that and feeding yourself for quite some time, you have learned to brush your teeth, drive your car pass school, maybe even college, maybe even climbed a mountain or rode a bike.

How many times a day do you play those successes over and over in your head?

How do you feel now that you have read some of those things and started thinking about all the stuff you have accomplished? Do you feel a bit better than you did before? Why do you feel better? Is it because for a minute you stopped berating yourself for all the things you did wrong today and focused on what you are doing well.

Imagine if you did that every day? How good would you feel, would you have a different opinion about yourself? I’m sure you would and it would be 100% true.

Everybody spends too much time focusing on what they did wrong and too easily forgets what they did right.

What we focus on we get more of, the more we focus on what we did right, the happier and more belief we will develop in ourselves and by proxy make more money because we will be happy and doing what we do to the best of our abilities.

Do you think the people at the top focus on the mistakes they made or do they build on the successes they have?

To summarize: money is a tool but that tool represents our belief in ourselves and that belief can be changed by focusing on what we are good at and the more we focus on our successes the more of them we get. So bit by bit day by day, all you have to do is practice and you will get all your desires.

But what happens when you’re going for your desires and focusing on what your good at? Does life seem a little brighter does it become more bearable, would you be enjoying life because you know good stuff is happening? I think so! If you’re happy, are you a better person to be around, I’m pretty sure you are, so as a result you’re making the world happy by proxy. As they say enthusiasm is infectious so is happiness.

If you have read all five posts I’m sure you have come full circle now and probably know what you want. You probably want to work on yourself belief, but what is the best way of doing this?Achievement

Actually the best way of doing this is going for what you really want. You want the cars, houses, holidays, fun, love and most importantly of all to help people. You just want to get your beliefs sorted so you can get down to the business of what you really want. But by going for what you really want, the beliefs that are directly in the way of you achieving your goals come up.

You might say I want a car, then instantly you get a, yea but, I don’t have any money, that is the most direct belief that has held you back. At that point you get to work on yourself and ask the questions how have I made money in the past? Could I make more money and have fun doing it? Could I get a raise in work? Then getting a raise becomes your new goal. I get a raise then I get my car. Then as soon as you decide that you get another belief in the way, but I’m not good enough to get a raise. Now we apply our awareness to that belief and we ask ourselves how can I get good enough? Am I good enough already and just don’t know it? Could I ask someone what to do? And so on. What if you just decided to turn up to work with a more positive upbeat attitude? How good will you feel? Can you see how by moving forward we automatically become better people, it is that drive forward that breaks down all the negative walls that stop us. so many people spend year in therapy looking for problems in their past but are never moving forward so they go over and over their problems never getting anywhere.

The most important thing is to take action and deal with each block as they come up not to go looking for them.
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So by working on your goals you get to work on your beliefs and bit by bit your awareness grows and you start building yourself belief in the most effective way.

all it is practice, we have all practised the negative way long enough, now it’s time to practice the way that works for you and everyone else.

I hope you feel more in control and want to take on the world.

it would be great to hear your thoughts and also if you read all five days.

Thank you.

I want more money

As we said in the previous posts it is our purpose to go for what makes us happy and what makes us happy is going for what we want.

Dollars funnel.

We looked at how to start defining what you want.

BUT!!! Most people are blinded by one thing, MONEY!!!

We all want more money, but why do we want it? it’s just a piece of paper… right?

Actually people never want more money; they want the security it brings, the things it brings, or the freedom it represents. I definitely want money for these reasons.

However money in and of its self does not bring happiness. So many people think it does. But it’s what you do with money that is the real fun, going on jet skis, meeting up with friends, going to clubs and buying new cars.

But what we do for money often isn’t as much fun. So if we look at our experiences working for money rarely gets us what we really want and to be honest working harder at what we are doing isn’t really attractive enough to warrant the extra money it will bring. So we get caught in this trap of wanting money and not wanting to do our job (Just Over Broke)

I’m sure you have had this thought, I have many times, when I get a bit more money, I will have the money to think about what I want. Can you see how you will never get what you want by thinking this? On one hand your trapped by not wanting to work more because you do not enjoy your job and on the other hand you are not allowing your self to think about fun stuff because you have no money. Loose loose.

What can we do differently?

Be A Fun Mum

First and foremost we have to stop looking at money as the thing we want, it blinds us to what we really want.

When you decide what you want, like a car, a house or more holidays, money then follows automatically. Its mad but I’ll prove it.

By wanting a house you may notice an opportunity to win one or build one or some opportunity that I cannot even imagine, but you start seeing opportunities.

The money follows automatically because you have set a target a reason to work harder or think differently, you start to generate ideas, it gets your imagination fired up and as a result your enthusiasm grows, you start to have a reason to work, it makes your job a bit more enjoyable. It’s mad but it’s true. I’m sure you have done this many a time, when you decided to go on holidays. oh I need a bit more spending money? I definitely have.

So the desire for the thing automatically creates more money in your life, because you are more enthusiastic about life.

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What if you decided to think outside the box and ask a different question altogether. What if you wanted a job that was fun? That also made you money? What if you decided, I want a job that was fun that was rewarding, would you automatically turn up on time and be a great employee, would you get a raise for being such a good employee?

Money is just a tool to get what you want. Money follows what you want to do in life; it follows your enthusiasm, never ever the other way around.

Try it now ask yourself some questions and brain storm ideas. What sorts of jobs are there out there that are fun? What do I enjoy already? The more of these sorts of questions we ask the better the answers we will get.

There are people making lots of money doing crazy stuff, from wood work to selling stuff for amazon.com, to life coaches and playing guitar. You can make lots of money doing anything. I know people who love ironing and make extra cash ironing. (nut-cases) I’d sooner coach someone, but we are all different.

So How much fun and enthusiasm do you want in your life?   having-fun-25 

Look at this cop.

These are the facts about money it is only a tool, like a hammer. You use a hammer to hammer in nails when you’re building a house, you use money to pay someone to hammer in those same nails if you don’t have those skills. It is neither good or bad it is just a tool. You can use it to kill someone, just like a hammer, or you can use it to build a shelter, to save some one.

This is the human bit though. We tie money to survival, because we do need it to live. But this is where money starts getting tied to our beliefs. Money represents how we value our selves. We have all been in a situation in work where we say I’m worth more than this boring job, paying me next to nothing, for all the work I’m doing. But then we say, I’m no good at anything else, so I won’t get money, or a good paying job elsewhere. Generally this sort of statement is made because people don’t believe in themselves, which is a representation of their self worth. Basically I’m not good enough. So the less you are paid the less you value your self (as long as you are not enjoying your job, if you do enjoy it your getting paid in enjoyment)

Tomorrow how to build self belief and self worth.

Becoming Happy

From Day two What is my purpose we discovered that being happy is your purpose in life.

So the big question is: what is happiness? Happiness is just an emotion. It is a great emotion, but it is just an emotion, it is part of our perception of life. It is dictated by thoughts and our language. If we think about good things and talk about them, we will feel better.

What we choose to pay attention to, dictates how we feel and what we pay attention to, is dictated by our thoughts and our thoughts are dictated to by our awareness. Man with magnifying glass

What is awareness? I remember the first time I got introduced to this concept. We are not our thoughts. This is nuts but its fun.

Say the word cat in your mind, who is listening to the word? Think of a cat, do you see a picture of a cat in your mind, who is looking at it? Think of a cat’s meow, who is listening to that sound. Is that cat a nice cat or a bad cat? Who is deciding whether the cat is good or bad? That is the real you, you are not your thoughts, you are what creates your thoughts.

Think of what is exciting to you. For me it’s Bunji jumping or skydiving. What is exciting to you? think of it right now………. Who chose those thoughts in your mind did I plant them there or did you. When I said sky diving I planted those thoughts there, but when you picked what you wanted you put them there. You chose your thoughts. How cool is that. We do not have to take on board other people’s bull any more we can choose what we think and then how we feel.

Imagine if you’re watching TV and the news comes on. You hear some horrific story that makes you feel terrible and you can’t do anything about it. you feel bad and powerless. that is not a happy situation to be in.

Now imagine you knew that the news was miserable every night and you decided to stop watching it. Would you feel better on average? That is you choosing what you put into your mind.

What if you decided to stop talking about things that upset you and started talking about stuff that made you feel good, would you feel better? I know I do.

What would happen if everyone did this, would the world be a happier place? Would there be war if everyone was happy?

So how do you become happy? It’s simple and it just takes practice; you focus on what you want, the more you focus on what you want the more you get it, the happier you will be and as a result the world becomes a happier place.

How do you feel when you focus on those bills that never go away? Bad I’m guessing?

How to be happy

What would happen if you took charge of your thoughts and decided not to worry about the bills for now? But the thoughts just creep back in. The reason we worry and dwell on bad things is because there is some action to be taken. As soon as you pay the bill the worry goes away.

So how do you stop worrying? You take action! How though? I don’t have the money for the bill. There is always some action that can be taken. Maybe it’s just writing it down in your diary, for the bill to be taken care of, when your pay comes in, or it’s ringing the company and explaining that you won’t have the money until the end of the month. Either way taking action frees up your thoughts to think of better things.

We will always have bills and things to worry about, but what if you acknowledge them take some action to free up your thoughts and keep focusing on the things that make you happy. You will have more energy and the fewer things will bother you. Life actually gets easier. It’s mad but it is true.

So your purpose is to be happy and focusing on what you want makes you happy, so why don’t we do it? Because everyone around us, doesn’t know this! School doesn’t teach us this and TV only tells us what is wrong with us. Life is geared up to distract us from our own happiness. Other people are telling you what makes them happy, not what makes you happy. So stop looking externally and look inwards, to what makes YOU happy and what makes you happy is going for what you want.

But I don’t know what I want? It’s really easy to find out what you want. Spend five minutes writing down, what I want? What I like? What I think I like? On a piece of paper. Write down at least 20 items.

That will get you brain working in the right direction. Then if you like re-organize them, to put them in priority.

The more we do this every day, by taking charge of our thoughts and looking at things we like, want and see, as nice or fun. We start to train our brain to what we really like and after a while it becomes natural, to know what you want, all the time.

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Wanting something is like a muscle you have to practice it. Bit by bit, you will learn which things you want more. We spend too much time because of money and society saying we can’t have this or that.  But we all know if the motivating factor is big enough, we can make anything happen. If someone held a gun to your head and said figure out some way of making €50,000, you would. Your brain would go into overdrive and you would quickly come up with a plan.

So to be happy you have to want something. That thing may be a car or it may be to help people. But one way or another, it has to be focused on what makes you happy. To do that, we have to take charge of our thoughts and control our focus.

So, Go forth, be happy.

the next post is on the all important money

What is my purpose !

What is my purpose?

Today is the second of 4 posts on this.

I first realised my purpose and as a result every one else’s over a year ago, but didn’t fully connect with it until now.

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I realised it by reading a quote by Marianne Williamson. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

How powerful is that, whopper stuff indeed. It is the last few lines that I like the most and it explains what your purpose is. It is to let your light shine, so that you unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

But what does that really mean? This is what took me so long to fully realise and connect with.

What it means is it’s our purpose to go out and have the most epic life ever, because by doing that we give other people permission to do the same. Our purpose is to be happy plain and simple!

So your purpose is to feel good, be happy, because it gives people an example of what they can achieve. If you can do it so can I. If you deserve to be happy so do I.

What happens when you feel down? People notice! They ask you what’s wrong and start to feel sorry for you, which makes them feel bad. Your feeling bad makes others feel bad, without you asking. You don’t want them to worry, but they do and as a result you drag them down. We have all experienced this on both sides. We have felt sorry for others and vice versa. So your emotions affect others.

This also happens on the opposite end. When we feel good, people ask us, what’s different? What are you doing to feel so good?

Happiness

Sometimes we don’t know, other times we do and we tell them. But generally when we feel good we want to share it. I’m trying this new thing and I feel great you should try it too. This is exactly what I’m hoping to do with this blog. I’m sharing my happiness and the stuff I’ve learned that has worked for me.

This is brilliant the world is a better place because I’m happy. WOW!! Fuck who’d have thought. Are you excited?

Tomorrow is how to manifest happiness, more and more. Day 3