Discipline willpower the myth.

I have always struggled with discipline and willpower. However I believe these are myths and they don’t exist. I believe that when see people applying either of these we are just seeing the results of goals and passion. Not a mental resolve that can’t be matched by mere mortals.

From an external point of view we look at someone working, at something, we wouldn’t be keen on doing and say wow, they must have a lot of discipline or willpower to stay late and do that, because it would take us a lot of energy, discipline and willpower to do such a thing.

What I have come to realise is that discipline and will power are the result of passion. When you have goals that you are passionate about, everything falls into place and you know what you have to do, to get to what you want and you generally enjoy the process. You can work late and still have energy to burn, because it’s fun, because you’re working for yourself.

When you don’t have goals you do the bare minimum in your job, because it would be stupid not to. Why would you expend more energy on something you don’t like? It would be crazy.
I’m sure you’re probably still arguing with me in your head and saying that I force myself to go to work every day, I don’t want to go but I have to. Your right it takes a lot of effort to do that and I have felt that feeling myself (too often). But even this is driven by a desire (of sorts).

There are two drivers in life pleasure and pain. We are either moving towards pleasure or away from pain. So when we force ourselves to go to a job we don’t like, we actually desire not to feel the pain of having no money and living on the streets. So this helps us have the discipline to go to work.

Imagine when you have had goals or something to strive for, that you really wanted, was it easy to get up early and stay up late for it, did it occupy your mind all day? You may have even picked up on the feeling of the above statement, because it’s the exact feeling you had before Christmas day. You’re so excited you jump out of bed at 3 in the morning and stay up playing all day. It took no discipline or willpower to do that, you just did it because it was fun.

How i came to this conclusion, is that over the past year I have been working tirelessly on figuring out what am I going to do with my life. I’ve been fortunate to be living at home with my parents and that has allowed me to focus on what I really want to do. I have also been very fortunate that I’ve had a life that was full of passion and to know that it is possible to live that way. I have also been fortunate to know, the life of having to do a job that I can’t stand. So I had a clear picture of what I didn’t want and what I did.
I’ve moved past that life of passion I once had and now I’ve been working on my new direction. But this wasn’t easy and I’m still not 100% clear on it. But it has something to do with this blog.

This is how; this willpower discipline concept came together. I failed everything in school I hated it and barely participated in it. I never did homework and dodged school as much as possible. You could not get me to do the work even if you paid me. As you can imagine I was terrible at English and writing, so much so I had to go back and learn it all over again.

Whereas now years and years later through working through a lot of personal shit I find that I can write 1000 word posts about all this stuff no problem. It is easy, it is fun and it takes no discipline. It’s because I want to do it.

So if you ever find that anything is taking a lot of discipline or willpower to do, it’s actually telling you that you don’t like what you are doing and that you don’t have a goal. You are not in charge of your life. Discipline and will power are just the result of your have to’s in life and not your want to’s

To grow your discipline and willpower, grow your wants and self belief then discipline and willpower will follow.

Is someone a success before or after they succeed.

I was just watching the film The Opus and something struck me as they were talking about success and failure.

They said in the film, that someone who is successful, is someone who meets failure, adapts and keeps on going. Whereas someone who is a failure, is someone who meets an obstacle and gives up. So really success is a decision to go on no matter what, to persevere. We have all heard this before. So really successful people are successful before they even start they have made a decision to keep going until they get what they want to achieve.

What I like about this, is that success isn’t what you do it’s what you decide before hand. You decide to be successful.

We can all make this decision and it’s pretty simple. You set a goal and then look forward to potential obstacles and decide then and there that you are going to overcome that obstacle. On top of that when you pass the first one you will then have all the belief in the world that anything that has been put in your way can be overcome.

I feel this is a very powerful exercise as the vast majority of us lack self belief that we can achieve our wildest dreams. However if you break the goal down and identify one obstacle and overcome it, your belief grows. So every obstacle from then on will build your belief more and more. Until you become unstoppable.

So what obstacles are you going to overcome today?

Best of luck.

Be, Do, Have. Figuring out our values.

This is one of the most important things I have ever learnt. I feel it’s one of the most important things anyone can learn.

It’s nice and simple, Be, Do, Have.

I’ve definitely been guilty of looking at this the wrong way round, Have, Do, Be.

The way I used to look at things was if I have more money, I can have a lifestyle, then I can do all the cool things, then maybe change a career, then I’ll be a business man and be happy. This unfortunately for me was the wrong way and spent a long time thinking this way.

Does this sound a bit familiar?

The real way it works, is you have to be happy now at what you do, because then you want to do what you are doing, so you do your best at it and excel. When you excel at what you do with a good attitude, people notice and pay you more and then you have better things.

This is the really tough bit most of us. We don’t like what we do, or our selves enough to actually want to put more effort into us or the job.

We have to change our self image.

We have to take a good look at ourselves and our situation and say I am not happy with where I am. I deserve better. This is loving ourselves in action. When you say I love myself enough to say I want to be better, so I can do better job, business, career and have the good things in life then you are progressing and taking responsibility for yourself and your situation.

Only then you can start moving towards the person you want to be. The person with the skills, attitude and energy, that is living life to the fullest.

I am assuming you are like me and have decided to gain the skills to be a better person, because this is where the fun starts. This is where we grow. This is where we can start to define who we want to be. We can start feeling good about our situation and who we are, because we are taking charge of our future.

Think of someone who you respect or admire. What aspects of them do you admire? Imagine Oprah. A friend of mine likes her because of how she empowers women and how caring she is, she likes the good that Oprah does. I on the other hand like Oprah because she is a strong business person and has great vision. We will look at people differently and see what we like and dislike. By looking at people we respect and admire, we can see the attributes that we want to develop. They give us a window into our own mind and we get a chance to look at our own values.

We can also look at people we don’t like and see attributes in them that we don’t want to build on or stay away from.

The most important thing in this exercise is identifying your values. By working on our values we work on ourselves and we automatically become happier and our self image will grow.

I think you may know what’s coming at this stage. When you work on your values every day you will become happier you will enjoy what you are doing more and ultimately you will have everything you need.

Happy hunting.

What would you do if you had 120,000,000 dollars.

What do you want? What do you want to do with your life?

These are probably the hardest question’s to answer. Once you get past all the materialistic stuff like TV’s car’s and more money etc. what do you want to do with your life that is going to give it some meaning. 

Everybody wants more money, but does that motivate you to get more money. More often than not it doesn’t, because you will have to work harder at a job you don’t like. Or unless you want more money out of fear, then you will never have enough and never be happy.

I want you to have every thing you want and be happy, with no guilt or fear. I want you to be passionate about what you are doing every day and not wanting for more. What I want to achieve with this post is to bore down and get to the point where you know what you want to do with your life and you are enthusiastic about the outcome.

What would you do if your dreams where fulfilled?

Imagine you won the lottery; It was one hundred and twenty million euro. You scream and shout you dance about. You’re finally financially free. You are taken care of for the rest of your life. What do you do now? There is no reason to work another day in your life.

You start to think to yourself now what am I going to do. You start making up a list of places to go. You book your flights and away you go first class. The party is on. Yahoo! This is the greatest feeling in the world. One by one you hit all your travelling destinations. You have the best of every thing in the world; you have the house, the car the lifestyle. But bit by bit this becomes boring and normal. You have done it all, you’ve bought it all and you have tried it all. What do you do now that you’re getting bored? Money can’t buy you out of this. Its money that brought you to this place. You’re slowly getting depressed.

So now the buzz of money has worn off. What do you want to do with your life? You can do anything, but what? I’m guessing you’re like me and been so caught up in trying to survive that you have only focused on the relief that having money would bring.

This post is a bit depressing and it’s designed to be. It’s designed to get you to think about what you would really like to do. Who would you help, what difference would you make in the world? What meaning is your life going to have?

I have found that by doing this exercise, the things that are of real value to people in their lives, is not having the big houses. It’s actually helping other people or contributing to the community or teaching people new stuff. When we help people, we feel appreciated, we feel valued and we feel that we have made a difference to that person’s life.

What if your job gave you this feeling? What if you felt like you where making a difference. How would you feel now? Because these feelings are free and you can get them any time you want.

So the big question now is. What would you do if you had 120,000,000 euro and you where bored. How would you spend your money to make a difference? Because this is what you really want to do with your life.

I would love to hear from you, so pleas post replies and I’m sure your contribution will definitely generate and help others to imagine an amazing future. Who knows you may even meet a millionaire who loves your idea.


How to get luckier and luckier.

We have all heard successful people saying I create my own luck. For me personally I used to say yea right, that is ego B,S,

Then one day luck got explained to me and the light bulb went on. Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. Has the light bulb gone on yet? Probably not, it took me a while to figure out what this actually means.

Imagine you want to win the lottery. That is pure luck whether you win or not. Yea? No? Actually its pure chance whether you win or not and you can increase your chances of winning the lottery, if you buy more tickets. So in this case you can increase your luck by buying more tickets. Easy peasy we all knew that.

However to be in with a chance at all you actually have to buy a ticket in the first place. If you don’t buy a ticket in the first place you have no chance at all. So we have to prepare to win or prepare to be lucky by at least buying one ticket.

Unfortunately with the lottery for every draw there is only one opportunity to win the big prize. So our preparation to be in with a chance to win this opportunity has to be done every week.

Now we get to the really interesting bit. How does this relate to you in your life? How can you get luckier in your day to day life? How can you make yourself luckier?
We all know if you prepare for an exam, you are more likely to be lucky that the questions you studied will come up.
What if you set yourself a goal to become financially lucky? How many opportunities are there out there to become rich? Millions and billions of ways. How many suit you probably not that many. However if you prepare to be financially free by studying, setting goals, asking people how they became wealthy and becoming better at managing your money. More and more opportunities will come your way to meet the right person or start the right business. So you control your luck by preparing or going for what you want.

So the big question what do you want? What do you want to be lucky and receive? What can you prepare for today so that you can be lucky in the future? The more you ask these sorts of questions the more opportunities come your way to get what you want. So get preparing get asking and get digging. The power is in your hands to have the most annoyingly amazing life ever.

Best of luck

3 Keys to success

The 3 keys to success are all intertwined. To succeed you need to possess all three, albeit in varying degrees. However the greatest thing about the three keys is that you can develop them all.

The formula is simple but the application takes time / practice. But that is all it takes. Each aspect of this formula is “develop-mental”

1. Self praise or no praise!

Self belief is the key to a happy life. If you believe in yourself you can be, do or have any thing in the world.

If you rely on other people to give you compliments or make you feel good, you will never feel good about yourself. Because it is contingent on how the other person feels at that particular time. You could present a project at work expecting rave reviews and relying on praise for your effort, but your boss grumpy and under pressure rains on your parade. You’re devastated, dispirited and de-motivated. But all this negative emotion stems from his bad mood, which could have resulted from an inconsequential spat with his partner on the phone. You have been crushed because of a fleeting mood swing and don’t ever want to put as much effort in again.

What if you didn’t rely on other people to make you feel good about yourself? What if you evaluated your performance by comparison with previous efforts, then you would know you have improved and done a good job? What if you realised that maybe tomorrow would be better time to approach him? This is self belief at work. You know it’s good and that he is just in a bad mood. This, to me, is one of the most important sayings there is. “Self praise or no praise” if you say to your self every time you do some thing well, I’m proud of my self, I did a good job. How much better will you feel? You will not rely on others for your well being ever again. Try it for a day!

2. If you don’t know where your going you won’t know when you get there.

Goals are fundamental to achievement and happiness. So many people are working hard and not feeling like anything good is happening in their lives. What has happened is they have stopped setting goals; they are caught in a rut. Goals are often simple things like getting to work on time and also big things like buying a house. There are two main types of goals ones that are pleasurable and one’s that are painful. This is called the pleasure pain principal. The ones that are painful happen to us whether we like it or not and we want to move away from them, such as paying bills, we just want to pay them and get rid of them. The goals that are pleasurable don’t just happen to us, we have to make them happen! With pleasurable goals we want to move towards them, such as a holiday. We want to think about them all the time. We want to tell our friends about them and they brighten up our lives. Either we are moving away from pain or towards pleasure. So this is why setting goals is so important, we have to set them to be happy and get what we want.

So how do you find out what you want? First of all you have to allow yourself to want. Think about everything you could possibly want without limits. Fantasise! Just get your creative juices flowing, have fun. All the negative stuff will happen automatically. Natural limits such as finance, talent and education, will always be there but they don’t have to limit the dream. Your job is to not to limit your thinking and focus on the good stuff.

I find that first thing in the morning, when I wake up, I dream about my business. What will it be like to be successful in my field? How will I grow as a person? What will I have to do to succeed and also I think about how I will feel at the end. Sometimes I go wild with my fantasies and dream about having parties on lovely white yachts in the Mediterranean. Then I think how I might achieve that. How would I have to grow to have that sort of lifestyle? Who would I have to speak to and what would I have to do? Have fun.

All our goals are different. Going to college, having more fun, going on adventures, playing sports, meeting more people, growing a business, getting a promotion. The important thing is not to limit yourself and have lots of fun.

Sometimes people have goals that are painful for a positive reason, such as losing weight. You have to go through pain to get to the good feeling. The best way to achieve these goals is to focus on the good feeling at the end, not the work you have to do to achieve it. Think about how you will feel, how proud you will be for losing that weight, and how energetic you will be.

In setting a goal you automatically think: how can I make this happen? Why I can and why I can’t achieve or have this. If you are running up against “I can’t” a lot, ask what if I had what it took to get this and start the fantasy all over again. This is a really important question to ask yourself. “What if” I did, “what if” I had or “what if” I could. This will turn your I can’t into I can.

“If you don’t know where you’re going you won’t know when you get there” basically means set your goals, work towards achieving them and be in control of your life and happiness.

3. The harder I worked the luckier I got.
Personally I believe there is no such thing as luck, only chance. Luck implies that something magical is going on, some people are destined and some people are not. Luck can be defined as the collision between preparation and opportunity/chance. The more prepared you are for your exam (study) the higher the chance (luck) you will succeed in getting a good result. The more prepared you are to succeed the more chances you will get / the luckier you will be. If you look at all the successful people in the world they will all say something like this, it took me years of practice to have this overnight success. So what does that mean to you? Well what do you want to be lucky in, work, money, love? Ask yourself how can I prepare more, what can I do to make myself more lucky and how can I increase my chances of succeeding.

These keys to success are tools for life. We can be the people we want to be (self belief). We can do the things we want to do and achieve our goals. All it takes is preparation, so start now and increase your chances of being “lucky”. Ask yourself what do I want, how do I have to grow to get the things I want and what do I have to do to get them? If you can answer these questions you are already on your way to being a success.

Passion eh what?

I had always heard Steve Jobs and Richard Branson say these words “just follow your passion”. I just couldn’t relate, I hadn’t got a clue what my passion was, I don’t have a clue what I’m going to do with my life. I would love to change the world but how? If i don’t understand my passion or my purpose?

I was thinking last week that skateboarders and surfers have there passion, that race car drivers have there passion. They are not so different to me. They are just people. Then I figured it out, there word for passion is fun. They just do what is fun, Steve Jobs just loved what he was doing Richard Branson just loves what he is doing. These guys are having fun every day. They have fun with what they are doing. There passion is just having fun each day.

I figured out how to find my passion and hopefully as a result what my purpose is. If I just focus on what I enjoy as long as it’s good for my health wealth the people around me and of course the environment, I will be leading a passionate purposeful life.

The lesson for me is to identify what is most fun in my life and work towards that, then I can identify what is most fun out of that and work towards that and so on and so on. I don’t need to know what my passion is to change the world, I don’t need to know my purpose, I just have to follow what is most fun to me and do it to the best of my abilities. This in turn will lead me down a road that when I look back I will be able to see what my passion and purpose is.

As all the greats say. I didn’t know I was going to end up here, I couldn’t have dreamt up the life I have led, I just followed my passion and look what happened.

So my question to you is how are you going to have fun today.

I am going to start enjoying all our project work and seeing how much fun I can have each day and who knows where it will lead. I sure don’t know where that will lead and I think that is going to be half of the fun.

This post is one of my first steps on a road to a destination that I have no idea where it will lead. So please excuse the bad grammar and not so fluid writing style but this is one of my first steps on a road to a lot more fun.